Alright, listen up you young’uns. Grandma’s gonna tell ya ‘bout this here… whatchamacallit… League Patch somethin’ somethin’. Yeah, that’s it. Them fancy city folks call it “League Patch Notes”, but to me it’s just a whole lotta mumbo jumbo about fixin’ them game characters.
Now, they keep changin’ these fellas, messin’ with their powers and whatnots. I tell ya, back in my day, a slingshot was a slingshot, ya know? You didn’t go around addin’ laser beams to it! But these young folks, they always gotta be tinkerin’. They say it’s for “balance”. Balancin’ what? My checkbook’s what needs balancin’!
So, what’s new in this patch thingy?
Well, they’re messin’ with a bunch of them characters. They got this one, looks like a big ol’ lizard, they’re makin’ him tougher, I think. More scales, maybe? Then there’s that skinny little gal with the bow and arrow. They’re tweak in’ her arrows, makin’ ‘em… I don’t know… shoot straighter or somethin’? It’s all a blur to me.
- They’re changin’ the lizard guy. Makin’ him tougher, I reckon. He’s already a handful, that one. Always stompin’ around.
- That bow and arrow girl, they’re fiddlin’ with her arrows. Probably makin’ ‘em sting more. Like a wasp, but bigger.
- And then there’s this big fella with a sword… always swingin’ that thing around. They say they’re makin’ him less… “oppressive”? Sounds like fancy talk for “less of a bully” to me. Good riddance, I say! He’s always been a pain in the neck.
They also got this new… uh… “ARAM” update. Sounds like some kinda newfangled contraption. They call it a “Bridge of Progress”. Progress towards what? Makin’ them young’uns even more glued to their screens? I swear, they spend more time starin’ at those things than lookin’ at the sun. Anyway, this bridge thing, it’s got new lookin’ minions, little guys that help ya fight. They’re dressed up all fancy now, like they’re goin’ to a costume party. Arcane-themed, they call it. Arcane? Sounds like somethin’ outta a Harry Potter book.
And get this, they’re already talkin’ about the next patch! Patch 14.24 they call it. Said it’s gonna be the last one of the year. Good riddance, I say. Maybe then them young’uns will finally come outta their rooms and get some fresh air. They say this 14.24 patch is gonna change everything. Flip it all upside down. Well, I’ve lived through a few flips myself, seen things change more times than I can count. Nothin’ ever really changes that much, if you ask me.
Oh, and I heard somethin’ about three powerful characters gettin’ a big ol’ makeover. Big changes, they say. Staggering changes! That’s what the young’uns are yappin’ about. I bet they’re makin’ them even more powerful. Always gotta have more power, these kids. Back in my day, power meant havin’ a good strong back and a will to work. Now it’s all about clickin’ buttons and magical spells.
So, what’s the bottom line?
Well, it seems like they’re always messin’ with this game, changin’ things up. Tryin’ to make it… what’s that word… “balanced”? Like I said, my checkbook’s what needs balancin’. But I guess it keeps them young’uns entertained. Keeps ‘em outta trouble, maybe. Though I ain’t so sure about that, starin’ at screens all day long. Makes my eyes hurt just thinkin’ about it.
Anyways, that’s all I got for ya on this here League Patch thingamajig. Now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go make some supper. Got some good ol’ country cookin’ on the stove, nothin’ fancy, but it’ll stick to your ribs. And that’s more than I can say for this here digital mumbo jumbo!
Tags: League of Legends, Patch Notes, Game Update, ARAM, Champion Changes, Balance Changes
