Well, let me tell ya ’bout this Roma versus somethin’ or other. I don’t rightly know all them fancy names, but it’s about them kicky-ball fellas, ya know? The ones that run around on the grass like a buncha chickens with their heads cut off.
So, there’s this Roma team. They’re from somewheres over there, Italy I think they said. And then there’s this other bunch, Ju-ven-tus, somethin’ like that. Sounds like a fancy cough medicine, if ya ask me. Anyways, these two, they don’t like each other much. It’s like them Hatfield and McCoy fellas, but with a ball and less shootin’, ya see?
They got this big game comin’ up. A “showdown,” they call it. Sounds important, like when the preacher comes to town and everyone pretends to be good for a day. This game, it’s a big deal for them foot-ball fans. They get all riled up, yellin’ and screamin’ like a hog stuck in a fence.
Now, I heard tell that one fella got a red card. Red card! Can ya believe it? Musta done somethin’ real bad, like kickin’ the ball the wrong way or somethin’. They sent him right off the field, just like when you shoo a stray dog outta your yard. Serves him right, I say.
And then there’s all this talk about “free kicks.” Free kicks! Like they’re givin’ away candy or somethin’. But no, it’s just a chance to kick the ball without nobody botherin’ ya. Seems kinda silly to me, but what do I know? I’m just an old woman who’s seen more dirt than grass.
- Roma, they ain’t won much against Juventus lately. Sounds like they need to toughen up a bit.
- Juventus, they seem like the big shots ’round here. Always winnin’ and struttin’ around like roosters.
- These fellas, they play rough sometimes. Fouls and tackles and whatnot. Reminds me of a good ol’ fashioned barnyard brawl.
They say this rivalry, this Roma versus Juventus thing, it’s a big one. Like the biggest one in Italy or somethin’. Folks get all worked up about it, just like they do ’bout politics and the price of eggs. Me, I just wanna know if they’re gonna have snacks at the game. A good game needs good snacks, that’s what I always say.
Folks talk about the “history” and the “players” and all that fancy stuff. But all I see is a buncha fellas kickin’ a ball around. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with that, mind you. It’s better than sittin’ around doin’ nothin’, I reckon.
So, this game, it’s gonna be on TV, they say. Everyone’s gonna be watchin’. Even me, maybe. If I ain’t got nothin’ better to do, like watchin’ the grass grow or countin’ my chickens. But I’ll tell ya what, if those Roma fellas don’t start winnin’ some games, they gonna lose all their fans. And that ain’t good for nobody.
They got somethin’ called “head-to-head record.” Sounds scary, like they’re gonna butt heads or somethin’. But it just means who won more games. And Juventus, they won a whole lot more than Roma. Poor Roma, they just can’t seem to catch a break. Reminds me of my old mule, always stubborn and always losin’.
And there’s talk about “goals.” Goals! Like they’re tryin’ to build a fence or somethin’. But no, it’s just when they kick the ball into that net thingy. The more goals, the better, I guess. Seems simple enough, even for an old woman like me.
So, that’s the story of Roma versus Juventus, as far as I can tell. It’s a big game with a lot of yellin’ and screamin’ and kickin’. And maybe some snacks, if we’re lucky. I don’t know who’s gonna win, but I hope it’s a good one. Otherwise, I’ll just go back to watchin’ my chickens. They’re more entertainin’ sometimes, I swear.
Anyways, that’s all I got to say about it. These young fellas and their games, I tell ya. Back in my day, we had real work to do. But if it makes ‘em happy, I guess it’s alright. Just don’t be kickin’ that ball into my garden, ya hear?
And they call it “Serie A”. Sounds like one of them fancy cereals my grandkids eat. Full of sugar and noise, just like this game probably is. Well, I’ll watch a bit, maybe. But if it gets too loud, I’m switchin’ to the weather channel. At least the weatherman don’t run around like a crazy person.
