Okay, so I got curious about Christian McCaffrey’s 40-yard dash time. I mean, the guy is lightning fast on the field, so I wanted to see how I stacked up. Spoiler alert: not well.
Getting Started
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First, I needed to find a place to run. My backyard is definitely not 40 yards, so I headed to a local park with a big, open field. It wasn’t a track, just grass, but it would do.
The “Warm-up” (aka Me Trying Not to Pull a Hamstring)
I’m not exactly a professional athlete, so I did some, uh, “dynamic stretching.” You know, some arm circles, leg swings, the works. Mostly, I just tried not to look like a complete idiot in front of the people walking their dogs.
The Run(s)
- Attempt 1: I took off, legs pumping, arms swinging… and promptly felt like I was running through mud. I stopped the timer on my phone… let’s just say it was nowhere near McCaffrey’s 4.48 seconds. Embarrassingly far off.
- Attempt 2: I tried to focus on form, whatever that means. I leaned forward, pushed off harder… and shaved off maybe a tenth of a second. Still pathetic.
- Attempt 3: Okay, last try. I sprinted with everything I had, grunting and flailing… and probably looked like a baby giraffe learning to walk. The time? Still not good. Not even close.
The (Humiliating) Results
I’m not going to share my actual times. Let’s just say they were closer to a leisurely stroll than a professional football player’s sprint. I gained a newfound respect for McCaffrey’s speed, and a strong desire to stick to watching football instead of trying to play it. The whole thing was pretty funny, even if I was by far the worst athlete out there at that moment.
